The Coaching Corner with Michael Riegel: Do You Recognize the Person in the Mirror?

In private conversations, my clients proudly discuss their latest accomplishments and professional strengths. They come across with confidence, pride, and power. They know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin. However, that persona often fades away when they share how they feel at work. By now, you likely know that many of my clients are women working in overly male-populated industries. For all their skills, abilities, and accomplishments, they struggle to reflect that powerful image back to themselves and others.

In the 1970s, the concept of Imposter Syndrome was developed to capture the feeling of discomfort, second-guessing, and anxiety that arose in the workplace – particularly for women. Solving the challenge of self-doubt or feeling like a fraud has been given to the individual. These feelings are the result of systems that make it difficult for marginalized groups to speak up, embrace their accomplishments, and proudly display their genius qualities. It will take time before organizations change to encourage more diverse opinions and reflect society more broadly.

Until the industry changes, here are a few tactics you can try to combat feelings of self-doubt or hesitation.

Objective Achievements

Take a few minutes to list your accomplishments. Start with the ones that are acknowledged by your colleagues, team members, or managers. Review your annual performance assessments (if you are not getting that, we can have a more important follow up conversation) and identify the themes. My clients typically see a common thread of their strengths and perhaps the weaknesses that have been addressed over time.

Speak Up and Don’t Hedge

Resist the hesitation to devalue your perspective. An opinion is often followed by some softening language or retreating. Remember that you are being asked to participate (in a meeting, discussion, strategy session) because you have experience and expertise – that is relevant and valuable. Think of it like a negotiation. State your opinion and then say nothing. Silence is your friend. The next person to talk will generally be in the weaker position.

Get it Out in the Open

Mentors and trusted colleagues can be excellent advocates or supporters to share your concerns or feelings with. If your company has affinity groups, you may find allies and a support network that can help you talk through the emotional impacts. If you have a team of your own, acknowledge the reality that most people share some form of Imposter Syndrome and don’t want to feel exposed. Set a positive example that feelings and emotions are not to be hidden or buried.

Systems take a long time to change. You have tools that will allow you to see a rock star looking back in the mirror. Help others channel their inner Sheryl Sandberg or Dolly Parton. Do what you can to change a system that may secretly promote Imposter Syndrome. You can reach me at MRiegel@AECBusinessStrategies.com.

Michael Riegel