Letting "I Don't Know" Be Your Answer

By Brandon "Kit" Bredimus, DNP, RN, CEN, CPEN, CNML, NE-BC, QMHP-CS

As a new CNO, my first nine months have seen crisis after crisis. In my first seven days on the job, we went through a surprise inspection from our accrediting body, which was immediately followed by a roof fire that led to millions in damages and patient evacuations. Thirty days into my role, I had to lead my staff through a mass shooting incident that resulted in 7 deaths and 25 injured between two cities. Within six months of taking the role, I am leading through a global pandemic that has affected every aspect of our daily lives. I am now nine months into the role, attentively awaiting my next challenge.

 I received some good advice after the active shooter event from a trusted colleague, "Never waste a good crisis." The pandemic has helped solidify this sage advice. I have been able to connect with my teams in new and innovative ways of using technology. For example, I began doing virtual town halls that allowed for more participation and dialogue with staff. The pandemic has also helped highlight the incredible contributions of nursing and amplified our voice as a profession. Being interviewed by local news outlets and having the opportunity to speak to the public about social distancing and supporting front-line healthcare workers. Probably the most profound thing I learned over these past few months is a personal reflection in that I have learned to be vulnerable, and that "I don't know" can be my answer.

 I knew that coming into this new executive leadership role that many would look to me for answers and decisions on a scale unlike anything I had done previously. I felt that to be an effective executive leader; I needed to take bold and decisive actions while displaying confidence and strength. While these traits are valuable and necessary at times, I learned that they are not sustainable if you want to build authentic leadership and avoid burnout. My mounting anxiety about having to have all the answers and know everything came to an apex about one month into the pandemic. I realized that putting in 12 and 16 hours every day and attempting to be everything to everyone was taking its toll on my mental and physical health. I had to embrace the fact that I need help and acknowledge my vulnerability. Embracing vulnerability means we must seek out advice and accept that we cannot (and should not) bear the full yoke of leadership on our own. As leaders, this requires us to recognize our strengths and limitations within ourselves and our teams.

 Within my team, we have embraced the fact that you do not have to have all the answers. In a recent meeting with my team, I dedicated a large part of our time to discuss my exhaustion and uncertainty about the future. I wanted to generate a safe space for us all to express our feelings, and it was very cathartic to see all the facades of invulnerability come down. I feel this acceptance of uncertainty and vulnerability fostered more growth and critical thinking within the teams and produced some fantastic results. The team has become more strategic in our planning and actions. We are more open with each other and accepting of feedback. Not having all the answers fosters the pursuit of knowledge and encourages the discovery of additional questions rather than simple solutions.

 While "I don't know" is an acceptable answer, it is not a terminus. Acknowledging the uncertainty and doubt must be followed with action, however small. Don't confuse an admission of vulnerability with weakness or apathy. Influential leaders find meaning in their work and seek out continual opportunities for personal and professional growth. This relentless pursuit of knowledge is rooted in the simple fact that you acknowledge that you always have more to learn.