The Three Uninvited Guests That Hinder Networking

The statement is so old that it may as well be sprouting gray hair – "It’s who you know." Knowing the people who can make the connections and get the information you need is an increasingly important aspect for your professional success. To meet those people you have to become adept at networking, but for every magnetic personality out there with all the solutions, there are three types you instinctively run away.

Now the bad news: you might be one of these three types and not even know it. Identify these turn-off traits and you could quickly become a networking pro just by turning your attitudes around. But what exactly are the three uninvited guests who instinctively spoil every party?

Mr. Sharky – Oh, he may smile a lot and always extend his hand for a shake. He might even order you up a plate of h’ors d’ouevres but make no mistake...you’re the main course.

That’s the problem with Mr. Sharky; like the over-aggressive used car salesman, or the distant relative that always shows up when they need some money, their concept of a relationship always turns up one-sided. Of course, he might not mean to be so selfish, but given a set of circumstances to overcome, he’s obsessed with me, me, me, which is never an attractive quality.

Instead, this person should first make themselves, their skills, and connections, available to others. Be ready to ask questions like "how can I help you," "what can I do for you," and "who do I know that could be an expert to guide you through your situation?" By being the person who addresses their needs before your own, you become a valuable asset to them, and they will come back to you because of it. By then you will have established a strong enough relationship that they will want to help you in turn. One of the strongest human traits is that of "reciprocation." When we receive, we feel obliged to give back, and there’s nothing bad about giving back.

It surely beats being some shark’s sandwich.

Dusty Pockets, Esq. – He rides the range with nothing but his horse, his saddle, and his suit. His signature trick is to shrug his shoulders and say, "I dunno." When the outlaws rolled into town, not only did he not have his six-gun, he didn’t even have his holster. He’s Dusty Pockets, Esq., the most ineffectual cowpoke in the west.

In order to network with others and have them want to connect with you, you need to have something they’re interested in. Maybe you work for a company with a very useful product. Maybe you have a specific skill that can be very useful. Maybe you’re good at problem-solving and can think through a problem when others are hog-tied. The point is that you represent the addition of value in some way to others, so you need to be clear that you can.

The goal is to be engaging, be ready to help others, and show how you can be of help to them not in an intrusive and pushy way, because that’s only Mr. Sharky swimming past again. The school marm says she needs information on small fleet telematics systems. (What? It could happen.) It just so happens that you yourself have investigated that same thing. Share what you know, and the connections you made in your own efforts. Arrive with something in your pockets and be ready to give without strings attached. You will quickly become a resource that others seek out.

General Lee Fairweather – He’s the man with the plan, but darned if you can find him when you need him. Generally, General Lee is a nice guy when you cross his path once in a blue moon, but blue moons don’t come about that often. His accessibility is shockingly inadequate, and it is hard to maintain an army when your forward command is nowhere to be found.

If you intend to build a strong network of professionals and peers, you’re going to need to be accessible. You must be out there ready to not just talk, but to listen – especially if you’re listening to a conversation that benefits you in no specific, immediate way. Nobody appreciates a fair-weather friend, and they’re not going to put their faith and trust in a fair-weather general.

So instead of hanging back, be the connector. Be out and about making the matches and building the forces up.

The Three Types – By avoiding the traps of the three types, you will position yourself to be an effective connector of others. You’ll be ready to help not for your own personal gain but because you are uniquely positioned to do so, and that position makes you someone of interest. You will have something to bring to the conversation that is of worth rather than having noting to offer beyond your presence. And if you don’t have the answers, you know someone who does and are quick to pull those pieces together. Finally, you’re there. You can be found and you’re ready for service.

So get out there and start building your professional network!

NAFA Fleet Management Association
125 Village Blvd., Suite 200
Princeton, NJ 08540

Telephone: 609.720.0882 Fax: 609.452.8004