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"Mom, I hope I grow up to have a job just like you."
Creating balance is tough. In Parks and Recreation it is difficult even if you don’t have a family. There are many times that a work-out or dinner with a friend gets cancelled when something goes wrong at work. This year, for the first time, I had a Park Board meeting on the day of my son’s 9th birthday. Ouch. The good news is there are ways to cope. There is a support system in our field, not just for moms, but for parents, single moms and dads, and those of us in the "sandwich generation" taking care of our aging parents. This was evident in the attendance and the support shown at our sessions over the years. You showed us that you are hungry for information and a peer group. When Margaret Resnick, Executive Director of the Mundelein Park District, spoke with us this year she said she felt a bit like a hypocrite. The truth is none of us have all the answers. All of us do the best we can to be good employees and save the best for the ones we love. We need to include ourselves in the list of ones we love. We have to make sure we nurture and care for ourselves because, above all, we can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves. So, I am going to share a couple of tips given in our session. The first is one you have heard from me before. Live in the Moment. Wherever you are...be there. When you are at work, focus on your work. Be the best employee you can be. When you are home, focus on home. You can’t get this moment back. Remember my mantra: Learn from the Past, Plan for the Future and Perform in the Moment. Assume that unexpected events will occur. Yes, the daycare will close. Your car may not start. The kids are going get sick. Plan for the unexpected and have things lined up when the train jumps the track. We do it in our jobs. We have to use that skill at home. Just knowing that there is a back-up plan will help relieve the stress of anticipating the wheels falling off. Incidentally, we had my son’s birthday dinner the night before and I left work the day of his birthday, picked him up from school that afternoon, spent some quality time with him and then returned to my meeting later in the evening. In spite of my fretting, it all worked out. Take Care of You. This is where I am a bit of a hypocrite. As a former fitness instructor, marathon runner, and triathlete in my 20’s and 30’s, I am not the poster child for "recovering" from my two pregnancies and life-balance in my forties. We all try to eat right and exercise, but consistency is the key to success. I struggle with this. I do my best to surround myself with inspiring individuals that make fitness a priority like fellow professionals, LoriKay Paden, Matt Wehby and Lori Neubauer, the Chair of our Health and Wellness Committee. While I may not always follow the rules, you remind me of what is important. Spend as much time outside as inside. Didn’t most of us discover parks and recreation, and ultimately choose the profession because we love being outside? So, why are we, of all people, sitting at a desk for eight hours a day? Get up, put on comfortable shoes and get outside. Wear clothes that allow you to be comfortable and appropriate, at your desk and out in the park. Does anyone feel anxious after going to a late night meeting? There’s nothing that cures that better than a late night walk with the dog. I did this during the winter in the falling snow. I went to bed happy and relaxed! For those of us with kids, they love being outside! Go out and have some fun. Unplug from Technology. In an article "Children Living in the 21st Century" quotes were taken from kids regarding their parents’ phone habits. One child said, "My Mom talks on the phone the whole time she is driving. She doesn’t even say "goodbye" when I get out of the car." Implement rules for yourself, your family and your staff. I am not telling you to turn off your phone completely. Sometimes we can’t do that. I am telling you to check your phone once an hour instead of every two minutes. Trust your staff when you are out of the office. It is okay to occasionally unplug as long as you know you have back-up in place. Social media is also a time sucker. As I write this I am planning to give up Facebook for Lent. As a self-proclaimed "people junkie" this will be very hard, but I need to make the commitment and stick with it. Imagine all the time I will have to dedicate to other things (like exercise!). Ask for Help. As Actor Larry Eisenberg said, "For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe". Part of finding balance involves letting go of control, acknowledging that some parts of your life can be left to others whether it is a staff person, family member or someone you hire. That doesn’t make you weak of incompetent. It simply allows for others to gain experience and confidence. It shows that you trust them to get the job done. It allows you more time to do other things. I encourage you to get your hands on a copy of the January, 2014 issue of Real Simple magazine. This issue is chock-full of ideas as to how you can simplify your life and find your balance. One of the secondary goals of our session was to point out the positive benefits of a dual-income family. We talked about things like being able to build college funds, serving as a role model for our kids, having dual insurance, and numerous benefits like free camp! Knowing that our tween daughter is seeing me as a motivated, happy professional gives me great satisfaction and pride. So, now is your time to step back, take a deep breath and smile. You really do have the best of both worlds...and so does your family. -Jan Hincapie, Executive Director Village of Lincolnwood Parks & Recreation Department |
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